Trauma Therapy Thoughts: Part 1

I was having a conversation with my therapist recently about specifically what feels so good to me about going to protests, making content about politics online, and speaking out against injustices through my brand. We looked through a smaller lens of personal experiences, I self reflected openly with her, and I expressed that I really hoped it wasn’t the pompous, self righteous little ego shithead in me that wants to be recognized and known for doing this work. 

We broke down this thought even further which led to the idea that, actually, I have always been a passionate creative, an artist, that deeply cares about seeking justice. Using any form of art to express my beliefs feels good because it connects my two biggest passions together; art and social justice. 

She made another connection that I wasn’t emotionally prepared for (as she does so gently and beautifully); she shared that as a survivor of intimate partner violence and sexual violence, it probably feels really good to use my voice in ways that advocate for people that often aren’t heard. She expressed that it probably feels good to use my voice when so often in the past I wasn’t heard or it wasn’t safe to advocate for myself. She said as a survivor of this type of violence, advocating for others is actually very healing because it resets my freeze/fawn trauma response, empowers me to continue to use my voice, inspire others to do so, and to finally fight for justice that I never got for myself. 

My immediate feeling was frustration because WHY DOES EVERYTHING GO BACK TO MY TRAUMA???! It often feels like I’m trapped in a trauma bubble that I can’t get out of. She reminded me that NO, I am NOT my trauma, but it is a small part of me and my story. She encouraged me to remember that I am on this planet for a reason, and my purpose might just be to use my trauma as a way to connect with others and to use my voice for good. Maybe, through candles, art, and the “stupid, pointless” little videos I post online, I can not only use my voice for advocating for a better world, but also heal myself in the process. 

Takeaway for my fellow survivors: Healing takes form in many ways. There are countless ways to use your painful experiences for good, and we must remember that we are not broken. We are powerful, resilient, strong, and we are still capable of doing amazing things every day that we are still alive.